Profile 1: What Makes Shelbie Tick- June 2026

In our first character profile of the season, I talk a bit about what's going on in Shelbie's head, what's driving her choices, and where I hope things will go. Hopefully by the time this airs, I will have been able to express some of these thoughts in game and resolved a few of her issues.

Featured character: Shelbie (work outfit)

The Digimon system we're using is being homebrewed by Lio as we play test it. Our theme song and graphics were made using AI, and the background music in most episodes comes from M4S on Spotify.

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hi, it's Little Trump, and welcome back to the Chaos Crew 2. This week I'm going to be recording a character profile like I used to for the old podcast. So I guess we'll look back at where we've come from and forward to where we're going. Today is June 3rd, 2026. And session one of this game was played on January 21st of this year. So not quite six months, but still a good amount of time. And in general, she would have kind of a quiet rebellion. And I say quiet because I don't know if everybody sees it. But the thing is, if you grow up in a situation like she's in, where your parents are choosing what you wear, where you go, who you know, what you're allowed to do, like everything for you, then taking any time for yourself, making any choice, let alone making several choices you know they wouldn't approve of, is the small rebellion. I'm pretty sure on her early sheets I had written something like she wants to do things her way before getting trapped in a life chosen by someone else or something. So I feel like one of the driving threads for her has been can I sustain what I've made? You know, I moved out a year and a half ago. Maid ends meet as a substitute teacher, which was rough, but whatever. Went from having a credit card with no limit on it to having a stipend that I get like monthly from my appearance. Which I know is not hardship. I don't get that. I imagine you don't get that, but it's a big downgrade. Um thinking about it like I think her parents use financial control. Um it's nothing like obvious. Uh it doesn't leave physical scars, but the assumption is you can't survive without us, you can't live with less. So by cutting back, we'll be able to control what you do. So she's expecting them to do that again at the end of the year when they are moving into the egg, and she's not going. Um that they'll just cut off everything and expect her to call when she runs out of money. So she was trying to build secure future, which was going better before she met Bolio. Um, episode one didn't get recorded. I should have recorded it, I knew it, I thought about it, but I was like, no, podcast is so much work. I don't I don't think I want to do that again. Um especially with everything else that I'm responsible for where that's going on now here. But I should have recorded it. Um in case you don't remember or you didn't listen to that one, um, she ended up trading saw pajamas with him. Because hers was like tainted now. And then that's how he ended up with Sangamon, which is actually the Digimon who hatched from her Sawpajama. I find it really interesting that like her heart's child, I don't know what to call them, is a water type. And the partner who chose her is fire type. I don't know. It's just interesting. But she didn't log out of her bank apparently. So he spent all of the money in her savings account to pay for a teleport to the digital world. She doesn't know that that's what happened. Just that Monday morning, she woke up to those messages from the bank asking to confirm the comp like the confirm the transaction. And by the time she contacted them and said, no, that's fraud, it's already done. Several thousand dollars out there. I'm we haven't fixed like a set number, I don't think. It's just vaguely like over ten thousand dollars. Um it's rough because I know what that money was for. She had been saving up like rent and security closet and furniture money for a bigger apartment. Because one of her goals for this year, and I kind of touched on this in a conversation with Lispy, one of her goals for this year was to get into a relationship with somebody and move in together, which is not a wise way to approach this. Like, let's just be clear. Um, the situation that she's in, she'd be much better suited to like making a friend and becoming roommates. Rather than trying to get into a romantic relationship on a time frame, but um, she is terrified of ending up alone. And it feels like this is the only option she has to prevent that. So she was saving up like her half of the money for the bigger space, and it's gone. Um also in this crazy week, she's gone from living completely alone to living with Wispy to now living with wispy and black Gemon X. So now she has a little family, which is nice. Some of the emotional load is lifted by having other beings around. But it's not the same as having a partner. And like if she gets sick or something, there's not much they can do. At this point, she should probably teach them like how to make calls on sapaton so that if she gets really sick, they can call one of her friends or something. Cause it doesn't really seem like Digimon are gonna be able to like buy medicine, drive you to the doctor if you need it, or you know, just make you soup. Well, they probably could, but since they don't eat, I don't think it would taste good. I don't think she expects the hunt for a relationship to go well. And this is me saying this after um after Saturday night of the first week, which is when Tojiro was like, fine, that we go on a date tomorrow, or whatever. Which is what she wants to have happen, but at the same time, like she's not expecting it to go well. There's this pervasive pessimism about the whole thing. And it'll be interesting to see how Leo reacts to that. Because we've talked a little bit about things, but not so much about the relationship part. He joked before. Uh after the conversation where she asked just over to hang out, and he was all like, is this a date? And she was having a meltdown, trying to like communicate like no. Because that requires like knowledge and trust and stuff, and we haven't built that yet. That um if Tojiro ever said like, Hey do you wanna go somewhere or whatever, Shelby would be like, is this a date? And he said it with this like high energy in his voice, and I'm just sitting there like I'm so glad you can't see my facial expression. So you can go into it expecting that to be the case. I think I've played the initial cards for whatever scene is about to come, honestly. Um you've seen some of the insecurity, you've seen the low self-esteem, you've seen her moods flip wildly, although there's not been any explanation as to why that happens. So if this is your coping mechanism too, and you recognized it, I'm honored that I portrayed it well enough that it was recognizable at all. If it's not, um Shelby's stuff lands somewhere in like the realm of dissociation, which is a spectrum. It it goes from like you got in your car to drive, and you kind of zoned out a little, and the next thing you know, you're at your destination. You're like, How did I get here? Like you drove safely, you followed all the laws, you remembered where you were going, you made it, but like your mind kind of checked out a little. Up to um having alters and living in a system and stuff, which we don't need to get into, but it's it's a wide range, and I think most of us go through some of it at some point. Okay, tangent over. Shelby's stuff is I would say on a scale of one to five, where one is like zoning out when you drive, and five is multiplicity, she's maybe a two. Because she has a disconnect in between her mind and her feelings, her mind and her body, feelings and her body, like because the way that her father reacts to emotionality to survive in that environment, she's needed not to be emotional, and so I think she has two modes. One is when the mask is on and everything is fine. Like, I know you just said something absolutely awful, but you know what? It's okay. That's fair, honestly. I would have expected maybe better from you, like more creativity perhaps, but like no, it's fair. That's very passable insult. You did great. Um I think I think there is potential in that one to get into a little bit of mean girl energy. I don't I don't think that's core to her being, but her friends from middle school slash high school were bullies. She wasn't, but she was with them. So she's heard it a lot. Um, and the general idea, like with the romantic relationship now, is being with someone is better than being alone. So having friends, even if they're mean people, is better than not having any friends. So she's heard. Meanness. And it's like there have been multiple interactions so far in this game. Um, in case it's not clear, the last session that we played was number 14, which is called Time to Put You in Your Place. And it will be going live at the beginning of July, so by now for you, obviously. It's out. There was one in the park with Hojiro where he was angry and saying and doing mean things, and she's just not faced by it. Like he's shouting, he kind of looks like a thug. He's very angry, and she's just not scared of him. The survival instinct just does not trigger. And it's a little more nuanced with him specifically, but like he looks down, and the next thing he knows, she's right next to him looking at his cell phone, like, wait, what did you do? How did you do that? And he yells and yells and yells, and she's just happy. She's just happy he's there. Um, and that he remembers her and stuff, and Simon comes and he's like, Don't take it personally, he's been through a lot. And it's just like, yeah, that's fine. I understand why he's angry. He probably should be mad at me. You know. Parentheses, because I was friends with the bullies. He probably didn't pay enough attention to me in school to differentiate me from them. So if they were awful to him, then he probably is just like you guys were awful to me, which is fair. Yeah. Yeah, we were. I'm I wasn't, but there's a trio. Yeah, we were. Um, is an interaction with Lena? Uh the phone call when we're in the diner, and she yells, and Shelby is tense and everything, and he's like, Don't take it personally. Lena's going through something, blah blah blah, and it's like, she's fine. That was fine. Am I supposed to be hurt? But it's like, no, she can treat me like trash if she wants to, that's fine. It's okay, everybody can. Before that on the sidewalk with female Keo and Itanda. And that Keos all like, I'm on a different team because I'm better than you. And it's just like, wow, that is like an entry-level insult.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Like, I have heard better. I haven't done better than that, because I haven't tried, so like I don't even know what my skill level on making people feel awful would be. But like. Wow. Should I slow clap?

SPEAKER_03 18:45

And there's there's a little bit of edge to her that comes out there where it's just like the posturing is not having the effect it's supposed to. And it's a tricky thing. Because Shelby both is and is not comparing herself to Keo. And I'll explain what I mean. So at this point, it's not fair to do the one-to-one comparison. Like Lena said after the mission, you've been doing this for a week. She's been doing this for more than a year or a couple years or whatever it was. So, like, as a snapshot right now comparison, it's completely unfair. It's it's just not even close to being balanced. But the question that's in her head because of the way her mind works, is what was your pace like? Because the guy who registered me for this said most cleaners don't ever have their partner digival. And mine had champion level in less than 48 hours. Which I'm not coming out and saying I think makes me a big deal, but I do think that makes me a big deal. Like, I have potential. And then in addition to that, we have Pabumon, the little slime monster, who lived in my house for like two or three days. And ditch evolved. And that's really fast, apparently. And it's like I don't know what exactly I did. I mean, I can't point to anything and prove like, oh, I'm such a good tamer that it's all me. But like, I don't know, man. What if it is all me? So it's like she thoroughly believes that she's bad at everything except for art slash music slash learning foreign languages. Um because she can't deny her talent there. It's too prominent. She has to look at that one and accept it. But she's failed at pretty much everything else. This is a harsh self evaluation, it's not an accurate one. If you Relate to that, and you are your own worst critic. Please pause. You should see yourself accurately. And if all you can identify right now are your weaknesses, that's inaccurate. You need to see your strengths as well for it to be a full picture. So you're gonna have to let go of some of the I guess security of knowing that you're a failure and be willing to face the terrifying possibility that you're actually good at some things and people like you for some things, and you know the emotional stuff that comes with that, and then I'll step back to the game for Shelby. The emotional stuff that comes with that is if I'm not trash, then my parents need they should have treated me better. And that's hard. Um just accepting something like that can be very scary and she's not ready. But I'm hoping that Tojiro is gonna help her because I know he sees her as better than she sees herself, and I think she knows that too, which is good. Because of stuff like I mean he doesn't think anybody should like him, so that includes everyone. That's not a hierarchy evaluation. But when he's like, you would be lucky to go on a date with me, she's like, I know, and he's like, Yeah, what? Like, plus the words that he's used to talk about her. Uh, he called her glamorous in one of the early meetings. He's mentioned money a few times, so it's probably on his radar as a significant difference in between them. Um back when they were younger, he thought she was nice and cool and stuff. But she doesn't really see herself as valuable or worthwhile. Um, but she wants to. It's it's so messy, and there's a lot of questions she's gonna have to work through in terms of like, do I deserve to be happy? Um, what can I expect from others? What sort of treatment is normal? Um what do I need to settle for? Because I think settling for someone like Isobe is one thing. He generally doesn't have large problems. He's lied to someone in front of her, which is a big deal because trust is one of her major issues, and it's like, oh, I don't like that. And he's said a couple of things that sound like manipulation. Um, I had to make you think I needed trouble to get to hang out with you. You should have just asked. Would it have worked? He's so focused on getting what he wants that there's a real a real tension paying attention to what she wants. But he's also been really emotionally supportive and nurturing when she was scared and small and everything. So it's not all bad, but it's not all good. And I think at this point, it feels like that would be okay, probably. That's not what I want, but be okay. And I think when she thought there was zero chance with Tojiro, that it made a lot more sense. Um, and now that it's like, oh wait, like, is is there I know you said this is one of the things that drives me crazy about our brain. I know you said yes to go on a date, but you were emotionally worked up at the time, so you probably were just saying it because you felt pressured into saying it and you don't actually mean it. So if you want to cancel and like go do something else, that's totally fine. I understand it's okay. It's not okay. She's gonna be really sad and hurt if that happens, but at the same time, it's better than having him feel like he's trapped in a situation he doesn't want to be in. There is a thing I intend to say in the next session if there's an opening when I'm hanging out with Sojiro, that there's a part of her that is upset that she didn't take Julian up on his offer. It's even hard for me to say that out of character. It still makes her skin crawl. She still does not want to be anywhere near him. But if she's trash, then she should expect trash people to like her. And I guess maybe that's her main question for this arc is am I actually trash or not? Because feeling like you're underperforming when you're already doing your best, and there's something wrong with you wears you down. But she's a year and a half into functioning on her own, and things are okay. They're not great, but they're okay. And now, in this past week, several people have wanted to be her friend, even though they showed up in a time that was so stressful and overwhelming that they got to see an accurate view of her instead of like a curated one.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

Like, you know I'm a mess. Why do you still want this?

SPEAKER_03 30:06

But the fact that they do gives some hope, I think. So there's that. I think in my headcanon, she actually is going to turn out to be good at the Digimon stuff. Because, like, you did see her um reach that threshold really fast. And I'm a player character.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Wes to see his players succeed and grow. So I'll get there.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

Um me as an outsider looking at her. She's not um she had a B and C average in school, and her brother had always. So she feels dumb. But she's like she's normal, you know. There's a few things she's better at, there's a few things she's worse at. Um there's nothing wrong with that. And I don't think she's ugly even though she feels ugly because she's mixed race. I don't know if that came up in anything, but her mother's Canadian and her father's Japanese. Um, the disaster that caused most of most of Japan to be flooded, I think was not that many years ago, but even if it was either her mom was stranded here when it happened, or like her mom's family was stranded here when it happened, you know, because like I said, I I think whenever the disaster was, there were people on vacation and you know foreign exchange students and stuff because like it's not scheduled. But there's not really international travel and stuff now. We talk about Canada a lot, which I think is funny.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Um like realistically, you're not gonna see anyone from there.

SPEAKER_03 32:58

Um but yeah, so there's some insecurity about her appearance, but I don't think she's ugly. I think she just is. I think I think the most reasonable crest to give her is probably kindness. But I don't know. We'll see. There may be something else that shows up later.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

Um, I broke down again, I wrote down a list things I like about myself. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 33:45

I persevere, which I think she does like about herself. No matter what happens, she keeps going. I paint well, slash, love to sing, slash, love violin, slash, etc. That's the artistic talent she can't just like write off. My job helps people. There's a whole thing about wanting to um wanting to work in a school to take care of people, to help kids like her, feel like they have a place and everything. And I'm kind to those who need it. I think she does really enjoy the chance to like try to build Tomanaga. Or like help Tojiro to feel safe or whatever. But this is also mildly dysfunctional because she is not looking out for herself or um expecting anyone else to. So that's not like great. Looking at the list of the crests, friendship is maybe an option, love might be an option, sincerity might be an option, and kindness. I don't think I'm going to get like courage, knowledge, hope with anxiety, right? Light, miracles, destiny. He jokes about reliability. I don't think Leo wants to give me reliability. I think he desperately wants my character to show him something so he'll have a different option. Back when we were playing the One Piece game, I know there were things that he would watch for in terms of like who unlocks which type of hockey and everything, which is a special power that's based on like your personality and force of will and what form it takes. Um, so if you wanted Okay, this will either make sense to you or you won't. Uh if you wanted conqueror's hockey, you had to act like a conqueror, like a leader, a strong, brave, fearless person. And if you weren't gonna do that, then you weren't gonna get it. Um I didn't get far enough to actually get any, which is fine. But I think that you know, he's going to be watching for something. Uh we'll see. At this point, I'm happy with the progress that she's made, even though I I know most of it's not coming to the outside yet. I think there will probably be a lot that comes out and interacting with Tojiro. Because it's very important to her that he has the chance to make an informed decision. I mean, she thinks she's horrible, and he needs every chance to see that she's horrible and to believe. Which is great. It's gonna bring a lot of things out. Also, I was really surprised to see the fighting spirit spark um when Keo showed up. And I'm pleased that the rest of the team is like, we're never gonna lose again. Um because it would be really hard to do what I want to do next uh without the team being on board. Because I want to find out Keo's pace of development and then just stay ever so slightly ahead of it. Because the point is not the point is not whether or not you are stronger than me right now, the point is whether or not you can maintain the pace that you're at, or whether you're plateauing. Because if you slow down, I'm going to get you. And at the same time, saying that, and also mixing things into the conversation with her and Itanda just to mess with her. Like telling Etanda that he would have been better at something than she was when she obviously thought she was the best at everything. That's just to make her unhappy. And it worked! It's great. I correctly guessed one of the things that makes her tick. Um Shelby suspects that underneath all of that is the same kind of desperate frustration that she has. The difference is that Keo feels desperate to prove herself in an area that she's well suited for. But from Shelby's perspective, this is what she could have been if she'd actually been good at school. So that when her parents are really pushing her to her limits, she could have excelled like us. And done enough that it made sense to look down on people. So we'll see. But if that's true, maybe we can do a friendship magic thing where I get her to cry in front of me, and I can hug her and we'll just be bungies. Because Itanda, I think, is irredeemable at this point. He's got murder eyes. He's too far gone, I don't think I can get in. Kyo just needs you to believe that she's better than you, which is just screaming, that she has very low self-esteem and she needs external validation. She doesn't, I don't think she likes herself. At least she doesn't believe in herself enough to not need other people. I think she's very insecure inside and is posturing. Because that's how bullies usually are. Loud and distracting so that you won't see that they they think they're trash and they're scared that you will do. Anyway, that's a look inside my character's head and my guesses about several of the other people in the world. I'm gonna edit this down, get it uploaded, set aside for a rainy day, I guess. And I will see you again next week. Bye.